Parenting Done Right.. Or not?

The fear in my little sister's eyes when someone is yelling frightens me. Looking at her eyes scared me more than my mother's yelling. The way she looked at my mom when she was yelling; I couldn't help but hug her. I held her so tightly in my arms and at that moment, I did not want to let go. At that moment, I realized how much I love her and as a big sister, I have to do everything in my power to protect her and that's what I'm going to do for the rest of my life.

For the past five years since my little sister had been born, it's been tough; for the both of us. Life was hard. As a baby, she went through a lot and I think that's a good thing. I don't want her to ever remember the hardship we went through or go through it ever again. Abigail and I have different fathers. Without Abigail yet, it was just my mom, my big sister, my big and little brothers, and I. My mom had her first boyfriend and he was nice. The second one, not so much. A couple years went by and Abigail was born. I don't remember how I felt five years ago, I'm not sure I even had feelings or maybe I didn't knew how to think or how to perceive things. When Abigail was growing up, life for her was like paradise. We babied her until we couldn't baby her anymore. Abigail's dad spoiled her and as for the rest of us, we we're given things here and there but we were fine with it. It was understandable that Abigail was his daughter. Since he had been with my mom for awhile, he acted like a father figure although we never looked at him as a father. He had us on check. We had to check in if we were to go outside and play, we had to be in bed by ten, and we had to have manners. Growing up and becoming more observant, I didn't like him. In fact I hated him. Living with him was hell. But while I appreciate what he had taught us, the way he taught us was not acceptable. Constant yelling and telling what us what we had to do affected Abigail, in a bad way.

Abigail has manners, she says please and thank you all the time. She is growing up right. However, as she grew up, she would get in trouble like the rest of us too. Her dad was a drunk so he would yell and she would cry and as she grew up, that fear grew bigger and bigger. 

11 Nov. 2014

"I don't like yelling." My little sister is literally crying right now and she isn't even the one in trouble. My mom is yelling at my little brother to shower and clean his room. I don't know why it affected her?"

- Field notes

In "Parenting and Child Health," they say yelling can harm a child's feelings and can make them very afraid. That's exactly why Abigail cried. One of the family influence information said "if parents shout at children when they are angry the child can feel the parents' anger and it can make children fearful" (Wiley). She was in fear because of how her father always yelled.

Even though children tend to listen more when they feel like they are in trouble, children have feelings too. There are so many other ways to make a child listen, yelling is not one of them. It will forever make them fearful of everything. Including its own parents.

Wiley, John. "Parenting and Child Health." Women's and Children's Health Network. N.p. 8 Nov 2013. Web. 16 Nov 2014.